“To expect a bad person not to harm others is like expecting fig trees not to secrete juice, babies not to cry, horses not to neigh — the inevitable not to happen. What else could they do — with that sort of character?”
Marcus Aurelius
Linkin Park spent all of 2003 promoting their second album, Meteora, which was a phenomenal success. The album debuted at number one on the Billboard chart, tours across the globe saw venues packed, and the singles “Somewhere I Belong,” “Faint” and “Numb” all enjoyed mainstream chart success.
But the band weren’t done. The album’s fourth single, “From the Inside,” was released in January of 2004.
Although it’s considered to the least successful single from Meteora, “From the Inside” did gain some traction in Australia and Europe. Also, it has since earned its place in the hearts of many Linkin Park fans, so it’s worth unpacking.
“Phoenix came up with the original guitar idea for this song while recording with Mike in the back of the tour bus during the summer of 2002,” the band wrote in the album’s booklet, which contains a paragraph describing the process of each song. “The song’s 6/8 time signature created an opportunity to juxtapose seemingly disparate rhythms, most apparent in the verses. When it came time to complete the song, the band ran into a challenge: Chester got sick. Unable to sing during his last week of scheduled recording, Chester was forced to finish his parts in New York, during the start of the mixing process. Down to the wire, the band was left with little margin for error. Fortunately, this song and ‘Somewhere I Belong’ were written successfully on the third floor of Soundtrack Studios, NYC.”
A demo of the track — titled “Shifter” — can also be heard on Meteora20, on the compilation’s Lost Demos disc.
A music video — directed by the band’s DJ, Joseph Hahn — was shot in Prague around the same time as “Numb,” while the band were on their European tour. The video depicts a riot, while a child releases a burst of pent-up energy as he screams. Near the end, the child smiles in the wake of the destruction. “It’s about a riot that happens,” Hahn explains. “We basically took over a historic square in Prague and let 400 people loose and we performed in the middle of the riot. It’s basically a display of someone’s power.” The video is currently sitting on 150 million views on YouTube.
In the first verse, vocalist Chester Bennington laments, “I don’t know who to trust, no surprise. Heavy thoughts sift through dust, and the lies.” “Everyone feels so far away from me,” emcee Mike Shinoda adds. Putting your trust in a person, feeling betrayed, not knowing who to trust, and the inner turmoil this brings. The song’s chorus goes, “Take everything from the inside, and throw it all away, ’cause I swear, for the last time, I won’t trust myself with you.”
Trust is a necessary part of living in this world; it is fundamental for anything to function. Families, friendships, relationships, organisations… humans are social animals and we all need things on a deep, social level. Trust is also how communities are formed. Honestly and integrity, so we’re not just rigid automatons. And when trust is formed, individuals and groups flourish, great things happen, and people just like being in each other’s company.
Of course, there will be people in this world who are dishonest or untrustworthy. That’s basically a given, and something we can’t control. And someone close to you violating your trust is an awful feeling that I wouldn’t wish on anyone, but to let that keep you from making friends and forming relationship is a different kind of hell.
As Ryan Holiday puts it, “The question then is how will this affect you? Will it make you angry? Ruin your life? Make you hate everyone? Hopefully not.”
It could be an opportunity to learn more about yourself, what trust is, and how trust is shared. So, you can go right in and keep an open mind, but stay mindful of red flags. If a person seems genuine, then you have every reason to give them the benefit of the doubt. And if trust is broken, that’s not your fault. It’s not a reflection on you — what they do is on them — but how to respond to those circumstances is a responsibility that rests solely on you. That is something we learn with patience, and experience. It could be something akin to what Epictetus once said: “If a companion is dirty, his friends cannot help but get a little dirty too, no matter how clean they started out.” You didn’t choose what this person did or said to you, but you can decide whether you want to keep them in your life or discard them.
Marcus Aurelius had this radical idea of forgiving Avidius Cassius, a general and friend who had turned on him in an attempt to take the throne. Cassius heard a false report that the emperor had died from illness. He let his ambitions get the better of his judgement, and that was when he made his move. He failed, but the Stoic emperor refused to put him or his co-conspirators to death. Instead, he stressed the need to avoid further bloodshed, despite a good number of senators calling for punishment. A considered approach to a problem, rather than simply reacting to what was in front of him. In his words, to “settle this affair well and show to all mankind that there is a right way to deal even with civil wars.”
Good for Marcus Aurelius and good for Cassius, at least prior to the latter’s death at the hands of an assassin in Egypt.
Is this what we ought to do? I don’t know for sure. I could forgive a person’s betrayal after the fact, assuming it wasn’t something too severe. I’d even support them if they genuinely felt remorse and tried to become a better person, but I don’t see myself going for lunch or drinks with them any time in the future. This is not so much a form of punishment as it is having boundaries.
Or, if they regretted nothing and showed no signs of growth or change, and the betrayal was something they couldn’t just walk away from… avoid. No qualifiers, no half-steps.
Stoics like to talk about the “inner citadel.” It’s a subjective concept, the definition depends on who you ask, but you can essentially summarise it as a metaphor for introspection, retreating into oneself, and just generally a process of self-inquiry. This can be good for many reasons: You can understand your own emotions and thought processes this way, and it can be a means of processing what goes on around you. You could call it the soul, or the self (if you want a good book on this subject, check out The Inner Citadel by Pierre Hadot).
In his Meditations, Marcus Aurelius says, “People try to get away fro, it all — to the country, to the beach, to the mountains. You always wish that you could too. Which is idiotic: you can get away from it anytime you like. By going within. … Nowhere you can go is more peaceful — more free of interruptions — than your own soul. Especially if you have other things to rely on. An instant’s recollection and there it is: complete tranquility. And by tranquility I mean a kind of harmony.”
Which is all very well and good. I like the idea of the inner citadel in theory, though I’d be careful about relying on it It’s the sort of thing that can be useful in changing your thinking when you’re in a tough spot, but beyond that, too much time in there can make a person close themselves off. A defensive fortress, going beyond simply having boundaries. While allowing yourself the right amount of calm is good, you don’t want to reduce your chances to connect with others. As Seneca wrote in his letters, “We must therefore take care to distinguish those characters which admit of reform from those which are hopelessly depraved.” The problem to deal with in the face of betrayal is finding the right balance. “Neither ought we to show an indiscriminate and general, nor yet an exclusive clemency; for to pardon everyone is as great cruelty as to pardon none; we must take a middle course; but as it is difficult to find the true mean, let us be careful, if we depart from it, to do so upon the side of humanity.”
“Do not build fortresses to protect yourself,” Robert Greene says. “Isolation is dangerous.” It might seem safe to shut yourself off, and a little bit of solitude can help from time to time. But too much time spent removed from the world means cutting yourself off, which means lack of growth and development.
This is what people mean when they talk about something being a “two-edged sword.” To not give away trust so easily, but also not to put the walls up and isolate yourself, which is damaging for different reasons. It’s not black and white — trust is a grey area and how much you give really depends on the person and situation.
A recent post by Mark Manson sums it up perfectly:
“The world has become too distrustful,” he says. “We’ve lost our ability to navigate relationships in the real world. And the result is that there is an epidemic of loneliness.”
I completely agree, though the actual cause of all this could be debated until the sun comes up, but that’s a separate discussion.
Could that epidemic of loneliness be what Mike and Chester were talking about? I can’t say for sure, but that’s what I hear with “From the Inside.” Retreat into that inner citadel for a moment, take stock, then decide what to do. Dishonest people, unfortunately, exist. They will come into your life from time to time.
That’s how I go about it, and then I carry on and go for my walk.
Lawrence Deveney 