“Not to feel exasperated, or defeated or despondent because your days aren’t packed with wise and moral actions. But to get back up when you fail, to celebrate behaving like a human — however imperfectly — and fully embrace the pursuit you’ve embarked on.”
“Falling” was the second single from Staind‘s 2005 album, Chapter V. While “Right Here” helped progress the band’s sound into more melodic territory, this single was vintage Staind, definitely geared towards rock radio. A balance of brooding verses, and an explosive, anthemic chorus.
Compared to some of the more ballad-like tracks on Chapter V, this one felt like something out of Dysfunction, or one of Break the Cycle‘s heavier numbers. Quiet-and-loud dynamics, down-tuned guitars, and Aaron Lewis’s vocal delivery that alternates between subdued pain and a more powerful voice of angst. Lyrically, “Falling” deals with themes of struggle, inner conflict, and despair. Lewis feels weighed down, maybe by the nature of the music business, or something else. To “fall” in this sense is metaphorical — to slip into destructive patterns, to lose control of one’s perceptions, and to call for help.
Lewis sings in the first verse:
“You in your shell
Are you waiting for someone to rescue you
From yourself
Don’t be disappointed when no one comes…”
I suppose one could do that, but then there’s the chorus:
“I already told you that falling is easy
It’s getting back up that becomes the problem…”
Becomes the problem… Moody, and vulnerable, but oddly encouraging, depending on how you look at it. I haven’t walked in Aaron Lewis’s shoes, but I know very well how it feels wanting to be a better version of myself. I set goals and intentions for myself, try to maintain good habits, and live my life with some semblance of a moral framework.
The track’s music video was directed by Cooper Johnson. I never thought I’d use the words “Staind” and “comedy” to describe a video, but I couldn’t help but get a few chuckles out of this one.
“This video is about these moments in our lives that are very embarrassing,” Johnston said in an interview with MTV News. “Where, like the song says, you fall, but you can pick yourself up off the ground, dust yourself off and move on.”
Johnson was taking inspiration from an embarrassing childhood basketball experience. By his admission, he wasn’t a big sports guy. He was at the wrong end of the court, had the ball, panicked, and shot the ball straight into the opposing team’s hoop. The director decided this — translated to the football field — would be the ideal subject matter for the visual component to “Falling.”
“The video focuses on the pressures that might be put on some kids by their parents,” guitarist Mike Mushok added. “You hear about those things where two fathers get into a fight over a game or with a coach, but it’s just a game. It’s not the Super Bowl. That’s what the video pokes fun at: the parents’ reactions and them fighting in the stands. It points out that these people should relax a bit and let the kids have fun.”
We have that in Australia too. Instead of gridiron, we have Australian rules football. Basketball is rising in popularity here as well, and soccer has been a staple for some time.
I am eternally grateful that I never had that pressure from my parents. I tried Auskick for a year or two, and decided it wasn’t for me. And they were completely fine with it.
Sometimes I wonder if I was one of the lucky ones, because I’ve heard some stories.
One of my friends used to dread weekends as a kid. His was one of those dads who’d yell at the game on TV, beer bottle in hand. He doesn’t call it trauma per se, but it’s not something he’d wish on anyone either. His dad’s AFL team — one of the lowest on the ladder — would invariably lose, and he’d be angry at everything and everyone for the rest of the day. Going off like a dog, screaming and yelling at the screen. Pathetic. Even a child knows that the people on screen are not actually in the box like a fish tank.
We’ve all known a guy like this. Can’t cook; can’t wash his own clothes; needs his “missus” to drop him off at the pub, undoubtedly before her motel sex rendezvous with the yoga instructor, et cetera. I’m no male feminist, but maybe Clementine Ford was onto something when she made her case against marriage.
Remember Baby Gronk? Born Madden San Miguel, he became a social media sensation a couple of years ago. He was pitched as being the next big thing in American football, despite being only twelve years old at the time. I don’t know how skilled he was, but his father basically went around, pestering every media outlet on earth about how AWESOME his son was until eventually they caved and started reporting on him. His father would feed him lines to say in interviews, claim he was trained and programmed since early childhood… it was all a bit insane.
I just hope the kid’s doing okay, because those kinds of stories really bring me down.
I see it in my line of work too. There are some parents, schools, and community centres that will make it their mission to create these child athletes who peak in their adolescence. Maybe the kids like it and want to go all in, maybe they don’t. It’s never really brought up, it’s just an expectation that seems to exist ipso facto. And then, they fall apart. Their bodies break down, and so do their minds.
Ever read Open: An Autobiography by Andre Agassi? I highly recommend it, because not only is it an incredible memoir, but it dives deep into this very phenomenon. Agassi was groomed to be a star tennis player by his demanding father, and he reached the highest levels of the game, winning multiple championships and becoming a global celebrity. Off the court, he lived a life of depression and substance abuse, privately battling an addiction to methamphetamine. He’s been sober for a while now, but I think, at the very least, his dad owns a bit of stock in what he went through.
Brian Bosworth is another example. Many such cases!
Here’s a novel idea: How about turning off the television and actually kicking a football with your child? Revolutionary, I know.
Another friend of mine, his kid is doing fencing and loves it. He pretty much discovered it on his own, to the surprise of his family. No demands, no drill-sergeant dad routine, just support for something healthy that he enjoys. Good times had by all.
I digress, and I’m going way off topic from what I originally had planned for this post, but I think I’m more or less aligning with what Mushok and Johnson are getting at with the music video for “Falling.” It’s not what I would have dreamed up if I were in the director’s chair, but in a weird way, it lines up with the hard-hitting sound of the track.
Back to Lewis’s lyrics, the final chorus goes:
“And if you believe you can find a way out
Then you’ve solved the problem…”
There is that fall, but there is also a way forward. I hear it, and I come back to that Stoic point of looking at hardship and seeing opportunities. It might not always be glamorous, in fact it almost never is, but there is a certain satisfaction on being able to stand at the edge of the hole you’ve fought your way out of, looking down on it, and saying to yourself, “I’m still fucking here.”
Lawrence Deveney 